i finally realised that the words on my blog are so true. no one will ever understand me. they dun understand me at all, they only noe how to scold, beat, sleep, eat, watch tv. what else do they do? i never seen them do anything else. AT ALL! except for my g******, i will never blame her. what else do they do?

they never ever cared abt me, in my eyes, i think that they are only there for the sake of being there, but they nvr ever did anything. i hav been crying till my eyes are ady swollen, and wat did they do? sit there and watch tv. if i hav a choice, i'll not acknowledge them at all! fuck them!

at least now i hav a lesser chance of being retaining, but i still might get the chance. i seriously need councelling, im abnormal. not as if anyone cares. i think even if i go to a psychatrist, i only be paying him for nothing, cos i wont say anything at all. i suck. i feel lyk getting retained, if its not for the fact that its embarrassing, i wld rather be retained. i would rather waste one year than proceed on to sec 4 with these type of results. haiz... i jus feel lyk sleeping 24hrs. in fact, there no meaning in life and i dun hav a aim in life which is why i hav to go for councelling, to make me find a aim in life. wat a joke! aims in life cant be found just lyk that. and besides ppl who hav a aim in life will not be in S1. those who hav a aim in life will be in the C classes, becos they will hav something to motivate them, unless becos they are pure stupid to not be able to make it to C classes. so why issit only me and angie hav to go for councelling.

hav to go for part As shooting tmr. hav a good mind not to go. i hope i can die in my sleep later. so everything will end. i dun even feel lyk sleeping, my eyes hurt, my throat hurts and my back also hurts. life sux. i finally agree with angie.